I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
