Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
