i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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