just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
