You're completely useless in the revolution.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
