Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
