New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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