im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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