Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
