he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize