i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Im part way to drunk.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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