Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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