we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
