First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
