found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
