I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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