I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
