I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
