Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
