I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
