dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
