Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
