i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
