you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize