had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
