My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
