My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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