I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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