ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
