Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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