is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize