drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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