Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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