how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so let's talk penis.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
