Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity