1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.