whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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