its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize