You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
