How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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