Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
