"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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