Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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