Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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