I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize