I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
