just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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