Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
