i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
