Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
