He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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