Christians are straight up FREAKS
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
