did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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