I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
