he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize