You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
