I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
