Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize