no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize