never play flip cup with pint glasses
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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