Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
