I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
